


Allura and Her Paladins

by Cutekittenlady



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Relationships, allura centric, fun character study, one-shot a chapter style, platonic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 17:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7902034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cutekittenlady/pseuds/Cutekittenlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Princess Allura of Altea has awakened from a ten thousand year long sleep with the singular mission of liberating the universe from a sadistic dictator. But even with her trusty advisor Coran, good help is hard to come by. But in a time of desperation, beggars can't be choosers.<br/>She'll just have to hope this rag-tag group of space explorers have what it takes to be the saviors of the universe.</p><p>A series of oneshots about Allura and the paladins of Voltron (and Coran too).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Get to know me on Twitter @cutekittenlady  
> And on my tumblr fic blog http://cutekittenlady.tumblr.com/

All in all, Allura thought she and Coran really couldn’t be doing any better under the circumstances.

After all, waking up after a 10,000-year cryosleep only to find that most of the universe has been taken over by your father's mortal enemy wasn’t something that most Altean princesses had had to deal with. As a result, there wasn’t exactly a precedence for what to do in the aftermath.

Having one of said mortal enemies battleships heading in your direction whilst you and the only other surviving member of your species were trapped in a grounded spaceship did help to narrow the options. Allura was sure that if any of her ancestors had been in her position they would have done the same thing she had done. Or at least she hoped they would have.

Choosing a paladin of Voltron had always been a long-winded and selective process. There were usually trials and tests to help narrow it down. Even after a potentially suitable lifeform (the lions weren’t entirely picky when it came to the number of limbs or the texture of flesh) had been chosen there was still months of training to endure. Maybe even years depending on the experience of the person.

And after all of that hard work, there was always a chance that the lion in question would still reject the chosen paladin (the lions _were_ picky about minor idiosyncrasies as it turned out) and the search would have to start all over again. The process was only sped up or skipped entirely when a pressing matter of importance presented itself.

Considering they faced immediate destruction, the universe being left in the hands of an intergalactic dictator, and the chance of the lions to fall into the wrong hands; Princess Allura of Altea had decided that she was in the midst of a _very_ pressing matter.

And things had worked out far better than she had hoped.

In all honesty, when she and Coran had been awakened from their sleep by five creatures of undefinable origin Allura had been more than a little… perturbed. As a result, she had been a bit more impatient than she normally would have been.

They hadn’t seemed hostile, so that had been a point in their favor almost immediately.

They were reasonably intelligent, though clearly out of their element.

They were clearly NOT residents of the planet the castle had landed on given their nervousness about, well, everything.

And they had some of the most hideous ears she had ever seen. Allura had seriously believed for a quick moment that the tips of their ears must have been clipped off or something, but apparently, this wasn't the case. What evolutionary benefit there was in rounded ears, she couldn’t tell but they had been so out of the norm for the princess that it took Zarkon's fleet attacking to get her to stop staring at them.

And these five aliens of undefinable origin, that weren’t really all that hostile, were reasonably intelligent (though sometimes Allura had her doubts), and with absolutely ugly ears were the new paladins of Voltron.

Her ancestors were probably rolling in their graves.

It wasn’t that Shiro, Lance, Pidge, Hunk, or Keith were BAD paladins per say.

Inexperienced and clearly out of their element? Yes.

But they learned and adapted quickly. And it had been surprising how easily each had been accepted by their respective lions. The lions had rejected far more experienced candidates for paladins in the past, so this was a notable accomplishment.

Allura was sure that the situation they found themselves in may have played a part in the lion's willingness, and besides that her father had taught her what to look for in a paladin on the off chance she would have to appoint one some day. So she hadn’t walked into the situation COMPLETELY blind.

Still even after the five had succeeded in forming Voltron and beating back Sendak’s forces temporarily, there were many questions that needed answering.

How had the five found the blue lion? What were they doing looking for it in the first place? How long had it taken them to reach Arus and awaken her and Coran from their cryo-sleep?

The group had been more than happy to answer all of these questions for her, and Allura was thankful to have gotten a fuller picture of the kind of people she was dealing with.

But there were _other_ questions. Ones Allura feared the five might find somewhat offensive.

Like, how peaceful was their planet? Was it under Zarkon’s control? How advanced were their technology? Did everyone on their homeworld have such hideously rounded ears? (She had gotten used to them eventually but, _seriously_?!)

Not all people on all planets appreciated being placed under a microscope and inspected for any potential faults. And Allura could see why. Being looked at by another race of creatures you knew very little about and judged as though you were some strange exhibit to point and find fault in likely wasn’t a very good feeling. Especially when you likely found the one doing the judging very strange looking yourself.

So instead, Allura had fallen back on the data the castle had extracted from the five. Their bodies general makeup, their DNA, anything. All In an attempt to get some kind of species classification.

And she found nothing.

It hadn’t been surprising really. From what she could understand earthlings or humans as they called themselves, hadn’t managed to attain the technological ability to perform even the simplest form of space travel until very recently in their history. And they hadn’t gotten very far with what they did have.

There was no chance the castle of lions, nor any Altean spacecraft for that matter, could manage to pick up any signal from the planet for the simple reason that there was nothing to pick up. She had only managed to pinpoint the planet’s potential location on their navigation system by extracting data from both the castles initial scan as well as from the blue lion. And even then it was only a general point in a far off galaxy.

But it was enough to answer a few of her more pressing questions.

Earth was NOT under Zarkon’s control. It was placed a little distance out of the empires domain. The five had seemed pretty insistent about it but Allura had wanted to be sure. For one it was possible the planet had been taken over after they had left. And for another, it was possible they were lying.

Doubting them had been shameful. But she had been confused and even a little scared. It wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that Zarkon would set her up with a group of fake paladins and play out some kind of emergency situation as a way to get his hands on Voltron.

Thankfully any chance of that seemed nonexistent.

Chances were Zarkon’s empire had only been interested in the earth for one reason. And that was the blue lion. With it now gone and in the paladin's hands, Zarkon’s focus would be shifted away from the paladins home planet. At least for the time being.

Which was good. From what Allura could understand earth was still a fledgling planet in terms of intergalactic politics. They had never contacted, or been contacted by another planet. They hadn’t managed to move even beyond their own solar system, and their basic weaponry wasn’t nearly on the intergalactic scale.

Against Zarkon’s forces, earth wouldn't stand a chance.

Thankfully the new paladins understood this all too well, and the fact seemed to be enough to silently push the five forward.

It pushed Allura forward too.

The universe she knew when she was young, with its seemingly endless possibilities and cultures, was gone.

In its place, Zarkon had created a universe ruled by fear and cruelty. Where the weak were enslaved and the strong brandished a whip.

Earth was part of a quickly shrinking minority. Perhaps one of the few remaining planets in the whole of the universe left untouched by Zarkon’s iron fist.

In a strange way that little out of the way planet represented a dim hope.

Even after 10,000 years there still remained dim vestiges of freedom among the cosmos. Those far removed planets populated by dim civilizations of people, not yet far enough in their development to traverse farther than their solar system, proved that the Galra Empire hadn’t won yet. Zarkon didn’t truly rule the universe. Not yet.

And the new paladins of Voltron came from one of those planets. Where the last flickering flames of hope still silently burned. Their world had not yet forgotten things like justice and bravery.

Allura supposed that in a way, that made the five more qualified than anyone in the universe.

They had the capability to instill that feeling into others. To drive them forward.

Just as they had down with her.

So, really, Allura and Coran could not have hoped for better circumstances or a better set of paladins.

Even if their ears were ugly.


	2. Lance explains.... (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura reflects on the qualities of the blue lion and it's paladins. And how utterly bewilderingly unsuited Lance may be for the position.  
> (takes place between episodes 2 and 3)

Allura knew that the blue lion was the easiest to connect to a pilot.

This was less of a generic rule and more of a statistically determined fact. 

Historically, it had rejected the fewest appointed pilots out of all the lions and was arguably the easiest to learn to pilot. Not so much because the blue lion's controls were simpler but rather because it lacked a solid specialty.

It could navigate better than the other lions in certain terrains such as water or ice, and had its own set of weaponry, but beyond that the blue lion was the most flexible when it came to its role in combat. Its speed, defense, and power was nothing to write home about but neither were they truly weak. This meant that the blue lion’s abilities could change to fit the skill set of its pilot more easily than the other lions opening the candidacy for pilots to include all skill levels and experience.

But perhaps the biggest aspect of the blue lion was just how friendly and welcoming it was. It’s pilots had come from all backgrounds, races, academic and financial levels. Blue had its set of preferences just like the rest of the lions, but those preferences were harder to peg down. 

Her ancestor's general strategy for finding a blue paladin seemed to be to find anyone that was skilled enough to fill the role, but who didn’t quite match with any of the other lions. They would then throw recruits into the cockpit until someone stuck. 

Haphazard perhaps, but the guardian spirit of water’s wide range of previous paladins made it difficult to pin down one specific trait they could conceivably look for. So they were forced to use anyone the lion would accept.

With all of this in mind, however, Allura did have just a tad bit of trouble figuring out what the blue lion had seen in Lance.

Unlike the other paladins, Lance had already bonded with his lion before arriving at the castle. So Allura couldn’t be sure what it was he had done to get its attention.

Lance was certainly friendly enough but he wasn’t exactly what Allura had come to see as primary paladin material.

The paladins of Voltron were brave warriors who upheld the peace of the universe. They represented a united and equal force of being that strived to ensure safety and security for all the people of the universe. And through every battle, every struggle, they held their heads high and always presented themselves with true nobility.

When Allura looked at Lance, however, she saw none of that. She couldn’t picture him as the noble and brave hero that the previous blue paladins had been. All she could see was a young, inexperienced, boastful, and flirtatious young man who took few things seriously.

A nice enough boy, in his own way, but absolutely NOT warrior material.

At first, Allura thought that, maybe, Lance actually had a great deal of battle experience that made up for his lack of discipline. But this proved to be false. While the novice paladin certainly seemed to handle his rifle well, he never got very far in the training programs.

Clearly, the lion hadn’t seen a sense of ambition either. Lance was competitive, especially with Keith, but not in a way that encouraged self-improvement. He seemed far more interested in showing off than in honing his own skills.

His moral attitude was alright, but a good moral attitude wasn’t enough to make an effective paladin. Especially given the short amount of time they had to prepare for their future war with Zarkon.

And then there was the flirting.

While flattered that Lance thought she fit whatever the human standard of beauty was, flirting with his superior was decidedly NOT proper paladin behavior. Besides that, it was just annoying.

In the end, Allura simply had no idea what to do with Lance.

The lion had chosen him. So he had met whatever standard the blue lion had.He had succeeded in forming Voltron along with the other paladins. Marking him as a functioning member of the team.

Really Allura knew that she should be satisfied with that. 

If Lance had been abandoned by the lion immediately, or if he had somehow prevented the successful formation of Voltron then maybe the princess would have something to complain about. But as it was Lance’s only offense was the simple fact that he didn’t act like a paladin.

Of course, none of them really ACTED like the noble heroes Allura had envisioned as a child, but Lance stood out for the sheer… the sheer  _ averageness _ of him. Essentially he had the same air as any average civilian that one would find on almost any inhabited planet in the universe.

But averageness was hardly something she could confront the boy over. What would she tell him?

_ Oh, I’m so sorry Lance, but could you try to be a little less average today? It would be a great help. _

Not only did that sound ridiculously condescending and rude, but it had the added benefit of not making any sense.

Eventually, Allura had decided to confide in her father. 

Or rather what was left of him.

* * *

 

Having her father’s memories saved in the form of an AI gave Allura a great deal of comfort. The two had been wrenched apart so abruptly that at times she even found herself forgetting that King Alfor was long dead.

Allura’s own sense of time betrayed her constantly. To her, those 10,000 years of sleep had seemed like a short nap, rather than a dormant slumber. It felt like only yesterday that her father, their servants, the paladins, everyone had been there. 

And then just like that, they were gone. With no hope of ever seeing any of them again.

But she still needed her father. She needed his kind gentle words, his reassurance, and above all else his wisdom. Especially when it came to the new paladins.

The old paladins of Voltron had been together for years before Allura had even been born. She didn’t have the benefit of understanding how they had met with her father, or what they had been like in their early years. 

In preparation for her, one day taking up the royal throne she had been taught all about what to look for in a potential pilot, the capabilities of each lion, and even the ceremonial duties that would be expected of both her and any paladin that may one day serve under her.

But none of it had really prepared her for the awkward reality of her current situation.

Usually, the paladins of Voltron would have decades of training behind them before they were seriously expected to enter into battle. However,  _ her _ paladins didn’t have that luxury.

Months? Weeks? Hell Zarkons entire fleet could be on top of them in a matter of DAYS. The paladins needed to be prepared to at least defend themselves and the lions if not the whole universe. And the responsibility of ensuring they were prepared fell squarely on her and Coran’s shoulders.

“I’m just not sure how I can understand him” Allura professed to the flickering image of her father. “The blue paladin is just so… different from the others. Shiro’s a natural leader, Keith’s the only one skilled enough to handle the red lion, I caught Pidge making adjustments to green, and Hunk might as well be a leg without a body. Lance is the only one I struggle to see merit in. He’s, well, he’s a  _ boy. _ ” 

Alfor nodded along. Understanding, on some level, her frustration.

Allura sighed. “I know I have no right to question the lion’s choices in pilots. But it’s difficult. The fate of the universe hangs in the balance, and with so little time to prepare I fear losing what little I- **we** have left! I-” She hesitated. “I’d rather not have to bury someone who had no say in being a part of this.”

And there it was. Laid out bare.

Even if this hologram was nothing more than the remnants of her lost father’s memories, Allura still found herself outpouring all of her pent up feelings and insecurities to it. To him. 

And just as with her father, it was often only after the outpouring that the princess truly understood how she felt.

The problem wasn’t with Lance’s unsuitability as a pilot. It was with how  _ normal _ he was. 

He wasn’t the type of person who should have been conscripted into a battle over the fate of the universe. Honestly, Lance looked much better suited to being a minor worker, a trader, some skilled artisan, an explorer, and, yes, even a casual pilot. 

Lance in both his appearance, his casual attitude, his way of cracking jokes and getting others to laugh along with him. They were all things that reminded Allura of a civilian. A sweet, good at heart, hard working, civilian. 

But not a paladin. Not a  _ soldier _ .

The boy hadn’t walked up to some interstellar recruiting office and volunteered to put his life on the line to save the universe from an interstellar dictatorship. He’d fallen through a cave floor and more or less stumbled into an alien warship. No amount of mental backflips could turn that into a free and willful recruitment.

“He and the others stumbled upon the lion by pure chance. And after that, everything happened so quickly.” Allura slumped down next to Alfor. “I don’t even think he’s fully realized the danger of his situation yet.”

“Are you so sure about that Allura?” the image of the king asked.

The princess laughed. “The mice told me they caught him posturing with his bayard when the others weren’t around. Daydreaming about defeating the galra, in the same way, a child might. No, trust me, father. He has no idea.”

Alfor insisted. “ _ Are you so sure _ ?”

Allura blinked up questioningly at her father, “What do you mean?”

“The next time you see him.” the hologram suggested helpfully. “Try to look at him with a pair of fresh eyes. Temporarily forget everything you know about the last blue paladin. That was my paladin. This one is yours.”

“I don’t understand father.”

“Every paladin is different for a reason, Allura. It is something about the lions and Voltron that you learn, but cannot be taught.”

The princess still looked confused. The image of the old king smiled down at her.

“These are  _ your _ paladins Allura. Remember that.”

Her father’s words still rung in Allura’s ears the next day.

What had his words meant? On the surface, they seemed plain enough, but he had placed so much emphasis on them that it seemed to imply a deeper meaning.

Of course, all the paladins were  _ different _ . That was the whole point. Five separate people piloted the five separate lions and became a singular unit when forming Voltron. She doubted that was what he had been getting at, though.

And what had he meant by  _ her _ paladins? 

She had appointed four of the five their respective lion’s, certainly, but that hardly made them  _ hers _ … right?

* * *

The Paladins of Voltron were beginning to get the hang of things. Of that, at least, the princess could be grateful. 

Humans were quick learners by the looks of things. Hopefully by the time she and Coran had the castle up and running again the group would be adequate enough at piloting the giant robot that they could reasonably defend themselves against attack.

Once they’d finished for the day, the five fell into their routine.

Shiro was supportive but firm as he talked to the team about their progress that day, Hunk’s thoughts immediately flew to things of the edible variety, Pidge looked ready to go off on *his own at the earliest convenience, Keith somehow pulled off being both deferential and independent at the same time, and Lance was... Well, he was Lance.

“I think I have this whole paladin thing down.”

The boastful statement went mostly ignored with the only evidence that the group had even heard it being the rolling of Keith’s eyes. The red paladin was apparently too tired to make a snide remark as he usually would have done.

Allura had to admit, though, that Lance was right to an extent. They really were getting ahold of the basics quickly. The princess was almost proud of them. And of Lance too. So long as he didn’t start-

“Soooo,” the blue paladin stood before her leaning dramatically against the door frame with one arm whilst the other rested on his hip. “Did you get a look at my sweet moves?”

There was a muffled chorus of groans in the room and Allura was sure she caught at least one,  _ Oh dear lord _ , mixed in. Likely from Keith.

At first, the princess had nearly been convinced that Lance’s behavior was just one of those alien customs that were easily misinterpreted. But the reactions of the others made it very clear what the intentions were. 

Very improper behavior for a paladin.

“As a matter of fact, I did not.” Allura replied truthfully.

This moment of truthfulness seemed to cause the boy to deflate slightly but he reeled from the blow quickly. 

He leaned forward and said with a cheeky smile. “Well, one of these days when we’re saving the universe maybe I’ll earn myself a little kiss on the cheek, eh?” 

“Lance!” Shiro admonished the younger man with a slight shove and a pointed glare.

Allura blinked and knitted her brows in confusion.

“Oh c’mon, it was just a joke.”

“Not funny dude.” Hunk commented shaking his head.

“Uhm,” Allura began carefully.

All of their eyes were on her.

“What…” she hesitated slightly. It wasn’t good to look foolish in front of the paladins. But her own curiosity pushed the princess forward. “What is a  _ kiss _ ?”


	3. Lance explains kissing (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura learns of an earth gesture, and makes use of it.

“What is a  _ kiss _ ?”

A chilly silence engulfed the company. Allura was sure she would have heard a pin drop.

Everyone’s gaze was trained on Lance whose face had paled considerably. Honestly, he looked almost sickly.

Swallowing, Lance smiled hopefully at his teammates.

“Nope. Not sticking around for this. You’re on your own.” Keith muttered as he turned around and exited the room.

Glaring at the red paladin's back, Lance’s gaze turned to Hunk.

“Sorry buddy. I, uh, I don’t think I can help you with this one.” Hunk apologized as he quietly followed after Keith with a hustle Allura had never known him capable of. Leaving Lance with a look of dejected betrayal.

He threw a last desperate pleading look at Shiro (Pidge had already miraculously disappeared without anyone seeing). But the older man just shook his head and patted Lance on the shoulder before making his own departure.

The gesture gave a very clear message.

_ You’ve made your bed, now lie in it. _ It seemed to say

Allura could only watch in fascinated confusion as all the paladins abandoned their comrade to his fate. It was almost heartbreaking. Almost being a key word.

Frowning, the princess looked Lance full in the face and asked irritably, “What was that about?”

“Uh,” Lance began awkwardly. He chuckled nervously while rubbing the back of his neck.

She was beginning to get suspicious.

“What IS a kiss? It’s not something inappropriate is it?”

“No! I-It’s not inappropriate just, uh…” He shuffled his feet for a minute before asking, “You got something to draw with?”

Though Allura had no idea what Lance was driving at, Allura nonetheless called Coran to bring a gazzle to the bridge.

(A gazzle being an altean tool used to create images and writing in the air. Most often used in teaching children.)

After a brief lesson on how to use the too (and some less than flattering jokes from Coran on the topic of human intelligence that thankfully flew straight over Lance’s head) the blue paladin set to work drawing what could charitably be called a picture.

“There!” Lance drew back and looked at the result with a sense of finality in his stance.

Hovering in the air before them was a crude caricature of what Allura assumed to be two humanoid figures. She  _ assumed _ because the image was honestly more lines than detail. Both Alteans had to squint to make out anything at all.

They could make out two arms, two legs, a squiggly bit in the middle that  **might** be an abdomen of some sort, and two lopsided circles that were (probably) heads.

The two figures were leaning at what Allura could only call a very uncomfortable looking angle and… touching heads?

“That’s…. That’s very nice Lance.” The diplomatic approach was all Allura had for the situation. For all, she knew this was the height of artistic appreciation on earth, and the last thing she needed right now was to offend her newfound alien comrades.

Unfortunately, her politeness turned to regret as Lance smiled at her proudly. “I have some talent for this kinda thing.”

“Truly a great display of human artistry!” Coran added with a tinge of amusement.

Allura studied the image. “What are they doing?”

“They’re kissing.” He said it as though the conclusion should be obvious.

“Why are they ramming their heads together like that?” She asked. “”Is it a sign of dominance or power?”

Her suspicions of Lance’s intentions were reawakened. Had he meant to imply that he could best her in a sparring match? Knowing his overconfident attitude that certainly seemed possible.

“No! They’re ki-” He stopped. As though just now becoming aware that repeating the phrase ‘they’re kissing’ over and over wasn’t going to get him anywhere in explaining the meaning. “I mean they aren’t  _ attacking _ each other!”

“It looks like they’re butting heads,” Coran observed.

“They aren’t butting heads! You don’t use your head, you use your lips!”

Allura’s face scrunched up. “Your lips?”

The princess was beginning to get a terrible feeling that she knew where this conversation was going. Lance clearly hadn’t noticed her discomfort since he still seemed lost in thought. Likely thinking of some way of explaining something he considered everyday and mundane to someone who had never experienced it.

This was something Allura had learned about while growing up. To many alien civilizations, especially those who had little contact with other species, there were certain habits, traditions, gestures, and actions that seemed universal to them. As a result, one had to be extremely cautious when approaching anything they said or did so as to not offend or anger them.

Some species took this as a reason to be fearful while others would go to excruciating lengths to try and make the other understand the importance of the gesture. Which was often difficult since the people themselves never thought about the meaning. It was something ingrained almost into their subconscious.

That was why she said nothing as Lance’s brow furrowed in concentration.

Whatever this kiss thing was it was clearly something important enough that he was putting himself through a great effort to make her and Coran understand it. It would be disrespectful to ignore his efforts.

Unfortunately, Coran didn’t have the same inhibitions.

“Ah-ha!” her manservant snapped his fingers dramatically. “So THAT is what kissing is!”

Lance turned to Coran eagerly. “Yeah?”

With his back now turned to her Allura began to furiously wave her arms in Coran’s direction. All in the vain hope he would notice and change his track of mind.

Unfortunately, the royal advisor was staring at Lance’s picture and nodding his head in understanding. “Yes, it’s plain to see what this kissing entails.”

“Oh thank god, cause honestly I thought I’d be up here with you guys all day-”

“It’s a human feeding ritual!” Coran declared loudly.

Allura immediately choked down her gag reflex. Feeding rituals were easily the most uncomfortable thing Allura had had to learn about while growing up.

On some planets, it wasn’t so bad. They used weird utensils for eating, had strange etiquette, and sometimes even the food itself was a bit out there. But most of the time this was bearable because if she messed up the worst that would happen would be her getting laughed at.

But there were OTHER feeding rituals. Rituals that involved two mouths.

It was a major part of the local culture so Allura had learned to bear with things until they’d left, but the action had always disgusted her.

And now it seemed as though humans SHARED this… interesting feeding ritual.

Swallowing hard Allura forced a smile. “R-really Lance that’s uh… that’s very kind of you but I don't think-”

She stopped when she saw the look of absolute disgust on the paladin’s face.  “UGH, dude! That’s disgusting!”

“Now, now,” Coran patted the boy soothingly. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about! Many species across the cosmos use similar feeding rituals to-”

“It’s NOT a feeding ritual Coran! It’s a- It’s a-” Lance groaned in frustration. “You know what? It might be best if I just show you!”

He glanced between the two alteans as though trying to make a choice. Finally, he seemed to come to a decision.

“Okay, this is gonna be a little weird but just bear with me, okay?” He said it in an almost apologetic tone as he reached out and took the princess’s hand.

Allura stared in fascination as Lance brought the hand to his lips and lightly pressed them against her knuckle. His lips were warm against her skin. It was an unfamiliar feeling. Not bad. Just unfamiliar.

The contact lasted less than a second before the blue paladin released her hand and pulled back. To her surprise, his face was flushed red, and he looked unbelievably embarrassed.

The princess looked down at her hand and then back up at Lance.

“Was that it?”

From the paladin’s behavior, she had been expecting something over the top and dramatic. But this kiss, as strange of a gesture as it was, had turned out to be small.

Her comment only seemed to embarrass Lance further. “I-It’s kind of different depending on, uh, on where you, uh…” he left the sentence unfinished as his face took on an even darker shade of red.

Despite the boy’s clear discomfort, Allura pushed on. “On where you what? Kiss?”

Lance hugged himself and stiffly nodded.

“So, if my understanding is right…” she said carefully trying to put the pieces together. “A kiss is when you press your lips against the other person's hand? And it changes meaning depending on which part of the hand you kiss?”

“I-It’s not really limited to just the hands.”

Things were slowly coming together. A kiss was some kind of gesture that involved placing one’s lips onto another person. And the meaning of the gesture would change depending on where the lips were placed.

“What does a kiss on the hand mean?”

Poor Lance seemed about ready to explode with embarrassment. Seeing this, Coran gave Allura a look that seemed to say,  _ Go easy on the poor boy _ .

Though Allura’s curiosity was still left hungering for more, she decided that now may be the time to let the point go. After all, she got the gist of what Lance had been talking about, even if she wasn’t so sure of the meaning. She was about to dismiss Lance when he spoke up.

“My, uh,” he was staring at his feet. “My mother always said it was the proper way to kiss a, uh… a  _ lady _ .”

Lance carried on whilst keeping his gaze fixed on the floor, apparently too embarrassed to look the princess in the face. “People don’t really do it anymore back home but, uh, all things considered, it seemed… well, it seemed appropriate.”

He looked up to find Allura staring at him. It wasn’t the weirded out look or the expression of irritation he’d been expecting.

She was smiling at him.

Allura hadn’t been expecting this. She’d honestly expected something much more crude from the blue paladin given how open he was with his flirting. But instead, he’d managed something that could vaguely be considered gentlemanly. Or at least what she gleaned as being the human standards of what was likely considered gentlemanly.

“Thank you, Lance.” She said sincerely. “That was a kind gesture. I appreciate it. I really do.”

The blue paladin blinked and smiled at her. It was a sweet sincere smile, and Allura couldn’t help but feel herself growing almost immediately endeared to it.

Thinking back to the conversation that had started this whole ordeal, the princess decided to try some hands-on learning. Reaching out and pulling Lance towards her she placed a light ‘kiss’ on the side of the paladin’s face.

It was practically a finishing move.

Lance gave out a small whistling noise as he took a sharp intake of breath. Before he began giggling like a schoolboy. Shooting his arms into the air he whooped before shooting out of the room like a maniac.

Allura blinked after him before turning to Coran. “A kiss on the cheek would mean Good job… wouldn’t it? Why else would he ask for it after a successful battle?”

The manservant shrugged. “Maybe it means go celebrate like a maniac?”

The princess let herself wonder if her advisor was, maybe, joking. One look at the seriousness in his brow told her that he wasn’t.

* * *

 

Alfor’s AI roared with laughter.

Allura hadn’t even known he was still capable of laughter. Of course, if he could give her gentle words of advice and comfort, the idea of her father's long-forgotten memories managing to manifest a sense of humor didn’t seem so farfetched.

“It wasn’t that funny,” Allura muttered, a little embarrassed.

She had regaled her father with the events of the past afternoon. As well as the aftermath.

Curious about what kissing in exact places meant, Allura had approached Hunk to try and get some straight answers. Seeing how getting them from Lance either reduced him to a puddle of embarrassment or sent him yipping through the ship like some small excited animal.

What she learned had only made her embarrassed by her reckless gesture towards Lance.

“How was I supposed to know that kissing could be considered a romantic gesture?!” Allura complained. “Lance should have started with that part! If he had I’d have never had-” She stopped, turning red at the memory.

“Now now,” her father soothed. “It wasn’t meant in that context.”

“No,” Allura admitted.

She’d been more than a little relieved to learn that while a kiss on the cheek could signify a romantic attachment, it was just as likely to be a purely platonic gesture between equals.

“Earth’s got a ton of cultures where kissing means different things.” Hunk had soothed Allura’s initial embarrassment with those words. “And since yer the one who initiated the kiss, you kind of get to decide what it means.”

Her father only seemed to find further amusement in this as he hooped and hollered. Eventually, King Alfor calmed himself and asked his daughter, “So what did that kiss mean to you Allura?”

The princess stared down at her hands as she tugged at her dress. “I-I’m not entirely sure. Just that it wasn’t romantic.”

Though Alfor remained silent, she knew he expected her to continue. And so she did.

“I figured… I mean at the time I thought,” she sighed. “I suppose I thought that a kiss was a sign of respect. Something that you gave to someone you appreciated. That’s all.”

There was no laughter this time.

“I see.” She could hear the smile in her father’s voice.

“I do think I understand him a little better now, though.” She could still remember how earnestly Lance had tried to explain the gesture to her, how embarrassed he had been when he had kissed her hand, and that warm endearing smile. “I think I do begin to see what the lion saw him. Just a little at least.”

“Take it slowly.” The king reassured. “Understanding one another is something that can’t be rushed. No matter the circumstances.”

“I really do appreciate what he’s doing. What he’s given up. What they’ve all given up.”

Standing the princess stood before the former king with an uncertain look on her face.

“Do you think…” Allura began quietly. “Do you think I should do the same with the others? To show my appreciation, I mean?”

Alfor’s hand hovered above the princess’s head. There was no touch. She could not feel the warmth her father’s hand once had.

And yet there remained a feeling of comfort in the gesture.

“I think they likely know already Allura.”

Smiling, Allura stood up and kissed the air where her father's image stood.

  
  



	4. Part 1: Something broken...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whilst in mourning, Allura is approached by an unexpected person...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place immediately after Crystal Venom

The room was dark. Empty. Almost cold.

Staring into the unlit room, Allura sat forlorn on the steps that once led to her father’s AI.

She’d made the right decision. She knew that. Every fiber of her being knew that. Even the part of her that had driven her from her chambers and onto this empty room where she now sat in solitude shedding silent tears.

The universe needed Voltron. It needed the lions and the paladins. Allura needed them too. It was a fact. It HAD been the right decision.

So why didn’t it feel like it?

Allura really had meant what she had told the paladins. Voltron was her father’s legacy, and she would carry it in his stead. She’d  _ meant _ that.

But when left alone, Allura had felt her chest tighten. It had been impossible to express the utter feeling of loss she felt. It was especially impossible to express it in front of the others.

Coran already worried over her incessantly. She didn’t want the others to do the same. And she’d come to know them well enough to know that they  _ would _ do the same. It was simultaneously a comfort and a concern in and of itself. The last thing Allura needed was for the saviours of the galaxy to be distracted by worry for her.

From the hall, the sound of approaching footsteps came to the princess’s ears. Someone was coming down the passage towards the room.

She didn’t bother to look up. It was likely Coran.

The dutiful manservant had been unwilling to leave her side ever since… ever since she’d destroyed King Alfor's AI.

The memory once again washed over her with a wave of mixed emotions. 

Sadness at what she had been forced to do, anger at the galran technology that had driven her to the act, grief as the last link to her father slipped from her hands.

Against her will, a strangled sob escaped Allura’s throat.

The sound of the footsteps stopped. And then quickened in pace.

Using the back of her hand, she did her best to wipe away the tears and focused on regaining her composure. Even with Coran, Allura needed to put on a brave face. 

He missed Altea, King Alfor, and their people; just as much as the princess did. But he still went above and beyond to carry out his duty. The very least Allura could do in return was reign in her emotions long enough to not be a bother to him.

The footsteps stopped just outside the open door. A hesitant silence followed. As though he was deciding whether or not to proceed. Which was strange because Coran wasn’t usually so hesitant. But he had his moments. This was likely one of them.

Allura decided to pretend not to have heard him. Taking the time it would take him to cross the room and address her to even out her breathing. She was thankful for the darkness of the room. At least Coran wouldn’t be able to see the red around her eyes.

Seeming to have finally come to a decision, Allura could hear his footsteps cross the room and stop at the bottom of the steps.

Sighing, Allura slowly turned towards him.

“Coran, I didn’t hear you come in. I was just-” she stopped short.

She blinked once. And then twice.

“Uhm,” Keith’s hand drifted to the back of his neck. “I-It’s me… Keith. N-Not… Not Coran.”

Despite knowing how rude it was, Allura couldn’t help but stare at him.

A part of her had acknowledged that it might not be Coran. Coran had just been the most likely person to come look for her.

Other candidates had been Hunk or Shiro. Maybe even Lance.

Pidge was a stretch. Though she could have come across the room while attempting to scan the castle for any lingering malware.

But she’d never even considered Keith. And she couldn’t really blame herself for that. 

Keith had never gone out of his way to talk to her. He acknowledged her existence, and to an extent, her authority. But he was more likely to take orders from Shiro than from her.

In return, Allura had never gone out of  _ her _ way to speak to  _ him _ .

It wasn’t as though the two didn’t get along. They just didn’t talk much.

She had always felt that there was this unspoken understanding between them. Keith would reliably follow through on his responsibilities as the red paladin, and the princess would recognize his social boundaries and not cross them. They had never TALKED about this, but Allura had always assumed it to be the case.

At least until now.

“You?” The shock in her voice was impossible to hide. Which was unfortunate considering Keith wasn’t the type to miss little details like that.

He frowned, eyes cast to the side as he murmured, “Yeah. Me.”

“Oh. Right. Of course.” 

A heavy feeling of awkward tension seemed to fill the air between the two. Allura tried to look anywhere but Keith’s face while he took a sudden keen interest in inspecting the ceiling.

The princess knew that this was not the way she should be addressing one of her paladins. But… it was difficult with Keith. She’d only really been alone with him once. That had been when Sendak had invaded the castle of lions leaving them both more than a little preoccupied.

It wasn’t as though they deliberately avoided one another. Or at least Allura didn’t. 

She couldn’t say the same for Keith.

He cleared his throat. “So… What are you doing here? I thought you were resting.”

Allura pursed her lips. No matter what Coran said, the princess was NOT made of glass. And while she could tolerate her manservant hovering over her like a mother hen she’d be damned if any of her paladins did the same.

Straightening her posture and squaring her shoulder, Allura did her best to look the very picture of health. 

“I feel perfectly rested, thank you.” She said coldly. “I was just stretching my legs.”

Keith did not look convinced. 

Or amused.

“And you came in here? Where there’s barely enough power for lighting, let alone heat, and where no one else is around because it’s out of the way?”

“Y-yes,” Allura replied shifting uncomfortably under Keith’s gaze. “Is that a problem? Going where I choose on my own ship?”

Sighing, Keith dropped down next to her on the steps.

“You were crying.”

The princess took a sharp intake of breath. Her red paladin certainly had excellent hearing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you do.”

There was a hint of something like pity in Keith’s voice. He had never used that tone with her before. She’d never known him to use that tone with  _ anyone _ before. It was an unexpectedly soothing voice.

And for some reason… it made Allura angry.

“Is there something you want or need from me?” she demanded. The bite in her voice hanging on every syllable.

Keith looked taken aback for a moment before replying, “Well, no, there’s nothing I need I was just-”

“Alright then.” Allura moved to stand up. “I’ll be going back to my room then.”

“Hey! Wait a second!”

It took all of the princess’s willpower not to stumble on the steps as she got to her feet and moved for the exit. It was imperative that she not let on how exhausted she truly felt. Her pride wouldn’t allow it.

The princess could put up with everyone worrying about her. On some level, she could understand why they acted that way.

But she would not allow herself to be pitied.

Not by Coran. Not by the paladins. Keith. Anyone.

She made it to the bottom of the stair sand was well on her way to the door when Keith stopped her. He grabbed her arm with a strange struggling tension. As though unsure of the gesture.

“Look I just…” Keith paused, clearly struggling with his words. “About your dad.”

Allura tensed.

“Look, I know it’s all stressful right now. And kinda hectic. And I know I’m probably not the person you would wanna talk to about this.” He hesitated. “But I understand. I know what you're going through, and how you feel, so I thought-”

An overwhelming flood of anger overcame Allura with a force she had never before experienced.

“Understand?! You understand nothing! My home planet’s destroyed, my people wiped out, the very universe as I knew it is now a thing of the past! How can you possibly say you understand how I feel!”

Keith stood in shock, his mouth slightly hanging open. He clearly had not been expecting the outburst.

“Once all is said and done you can return home anytime you wish! But I don’t have anywhere anymore! I can’t even look forward to seeing my father again! You and the others still HAVE your planet! You still HAVE your people!! So don’t you dare claim you can understand how I feel out of some misguided sense of pity!”

“I’m not pitying you!” Keith's face had distorted in a sudden surge of anger.

“Yes, you are! Outside of Coran, there’s no one else here who could possibly understand what I’ve lost!!” 

Allura’s voice had reached a shrill level of despair that echoed through the empty room and reverberated off the walls. 

“You’ll get to see your family again, but I never will!”

Keith’s entire physique went limp.

Allura ripped her arm from his hand and ran from the room, nearly colliding with Shiro in the doorway. He reached a tentative arm towards her, but she ignored him and carried on down the hall until she reached her bedroom.

She locked the door, set handprint sensor to allow no one but her to enter, and collapsed into her bed in a fit of sobbing.

When Coran came to the door, she ignored him.

When Shiro knocked and asked to enter, she ignored him too.

She ignored Hunk’s attempts to bait her out with food, Lance’s half-hearted attempt at cheering her up through the metallic wall, and even Pidge’s threats of hacking into the lock.

Allura ignored it all as she filled the world with tears. Only stopping when sleep finally claimed her.


	5. Part 2: Something remembered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura reminisces of days long ago and comes to a decision.

Allura didn’t dream.

It was a thankful relief. Lately, all of her dreams had either been sweat-inducing nightmares or bittersweet remembrances of past happiness. 

She had been in need of a dreamless sleep. Anything to give her body the rest it craved. 

It was with a great deal of relief that Allura awoke, feeling much better than she had for days, to find that Pidge had not followed up on her threats to hack the door open.

_ Even if they don’t respect my authority at least they respect my privacy. _

Leaning back on the pillow she wondered how long she had slept. Certainly not more than a few hours. Of course, she had been doing little else but sleeping and resting for the past few days, rendering time itself into an unrecognizable blur.

Sighing, Allura rolled over and looked at the door.

The sensor still glowed red. A sure sign that the door was locked.

Pursing her lips into a pout, Allura rolled back onto her back and glared at the ceiling.

_ They could have at least TRIED to get in. _ The contradictory thought wasn’t lost on her more sensible side, but the princess was not in the mood to feel ashamed.

It wasn’t as though she wasn’t accustomed to being fussed over. Being royalty tended to lead to having a childhood filled with fussy adults. Everyone asking if she was happy and comfortable, whether or not her food was alright, people constantly inquiring into her health. It had always irritated Allura, but she’d been raised to put up with it.

The only people she hadn’t minded growing up had been Coran, the old paladins, and her father. Whenever a servant or a noble asked how she was doing, there always existed a twinge of awareness that the person in question may have ulterior motives in cozying up to the young princess. As a result, Allura had grown up with few friends.

But things were different with the new paladins. Or rather,  _ her _ paladins. 

Her father’s AI had always insisted on calling them that. It was something that Allura still struggled to understand. She had appointed them out of a sense of necessity, not choice. The fact that they had turned out to be semi-military trained space explorers had been a lucky accident.

If the war had never happened, and she and Coran hadn’t been frozen for 10,000 years then things would have turned out differently. 

Upon her father passing his title of leadership to Allura she would have taken up all the duties of ruler immediately. When the time came to appoint a new paladin, whether because a previous paladin had retired or passed from the world, there would have been an entire vetting process for finding a new paladin.

Allura, as acting queen, would have sifted through literally hundreds of potential candidates. Using her knowledge of the lions and the current paladins to pick out a group that would be trained and eventually presented to the lion in question.

Most would fail, but they had a bright future ahead of them in the Altean fleet alongside the paladins or even directly under their command.

The one whom the lions accepted would be officially dubbed a paladin of Voltron, and be remembered for decades as a hero. Even if they never stepped foot in battle.

If all of that had taken place. If the universe had been left in peace. If her life had not diverted it’s path. Would her father have still referred to them as  _ her _ paladins? She had no way of knowing.

She didn’t resent the earthlings for their current situation. They were victims after all was said and done. But even after everything that they had been through together Allura still second guessed herself.

Now that the last remnant of her father’s wisdom was gone, Allura couldn’t even be sure whether she was leading everyone in the right direction. Let alone to victory.

Sighing, the princess sat up and contemplated her most recent mistakes. 

Besides almost flying everyone into a sun, she had also shamefully made a spectacle of herself in front of everyone on the ship.

Well…

Maybe not precisely in front of  _ everyone _ . Just Shiro and Keith. Of course, then all of her yelling had attracted the attention of everyone else on board. Sending them all running to see what was going on. The whole embarrassing fiasco had made her look like an attention hungry child instead of a noble altean princess.

Worse still, she had taken all of her emotional turmoil out on Keith. 

The simple truth of the matter was that his actions had hurt her pride. His pity, while almost certainly well meaning, had struck a cord in Allura’s heart. She had lost her family, her people, her planet, her very reality. All the princess really had left was the castle, Coran, and her own private sense of honor. 

She was the last living female altean. The last member of the Altea’s royal line. The pilot of the last vestige of her planet’s engineering. As such, Allura could only feel it was her responsibility, no, her duty to uphold a presence of dignity before outsiders. The princess couldn’t risk sullying the memory of her people.

And yet… Did that include the paladins?

They were the paladins of Voltron. Defenders of the universe, knights of the royal house of altea, guardians of peace, and (in accordance with altean law) the ruling monarchs bodyguards, servants, and  _ advisors _ . Their rank in altean society was only overshadowed by the royal family and a few noble houses.

But they were also  _ outsiders _ . 

The altean people and their laws had disappeared long before the five appeared on her doorstep. Outside of the castle, there was no way for them to ever truly know what a beautiful and wonderful place her home planet had truly been.

Allura could certainly teach them about the many aspects of planet Altea. Their nature, their music, their art. Everything that made them, well, Altean. But they could never experience it for themselves. Not truly.

So what would even be the point?

Besides that, they faced a nearly hopeless battle against an enemy with far more fire and manpower than they could ever hope to muster over a short amount of time. The galra knew who they were and that they were out in the universe somewhere, making them the central target of every Galran battle cruiser. Worse, Zarkon had a whole 10,000 year lead on his conquest of the galaxy, leaving few planets out of his grasp.

In the end, no matter how the princess chose to look at the situation, she needed to project a confident in-control exterior as consistently as possible. If she dropped it for too long then everyone would see how lost she truly was. Perhaps they would even realize how unprepared she was for this leadership position.

She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to lose everyone’s respect.

_ But it may be too late. _ Allura thought ruefully.  _ Keith already knows how I fell to pieces. Shiro too. They’ve undoubtedly told the others. _

Now they would all look at her differently. Their eyes would be filled with pity. An unbearing, overwhelming, absolutely infuriating sense of pity.

An all too familiar stare.

How long had it been really? Putting aside the thousands of years she was dormant, how long had it been since she had lost her mother? 

She’d moved on from the loss long ago, but the memories still lingered on the corners of Allura’s consciousness.

The days after the loss had felt so cold and empty. Even the hottest afternoons couldn’t seem to warm the world around her. 

With the loss of the queen the whole castle and all of her people were thrown into mourning. She could still remember how the noble figure of her father seemed to deflate. His proud strong shoulders going slack. How his wise gentle eyes had become suffused with tears.

Despite everything, affairs in the kingdom were expected to continue. The whole of a planet could not stop turning after the death of a single individual. 

Alfor knew that. But Allura did not.

His consistent absence proceeding the funeral only made her world seem all the bleaker. As though a cloud of burning stones had permanently blocked out the sun.

The stares only made things worse.

Every time she was brought dinner, someone came to take her clothes away, or simply check in on her. Their eyes would look at her with that all too familiar feeling of pity that even then made her teeth grate.

The sympathy was meant in kindness, even back then. But even after so many years, Allura could not say she appreciated the gesture. For a time it was as though she was a delicate object in the eyes of all she encountered.

Joyous discussions of one’s own family in Allura’s presence was frowned upon. Everyone was careful to keep up a controlled level of emotion when speaking to the princess. Not sad, nor depressed, just an artificial mask of normalcy. 

What was perhaps most unbearable was how no one wanted to discuss the queen. They carefully avoided the subject as though her mother had never existed.

It was similar to how she felt now though not quite the same.

Coran the other’s weren’t nearly as artificial as the nobles and servants had been. They didn’t pretend that the incident had never occurred, they simply didn’t directly address it. 

Every one of them had given her their condolences in their own ways, Either by directly apologizing for her loss, giving her a comforting squeeze on the shoulder, or diplomatically not saying anything at all and allowing the respectful silence to do all the talking for them.

But every one of them had looked at her with those same sympathetic eyes. They weren’t as distant as the ones of her childhood, but they were similar enough to weigh on the princess’s mind.

Keith had been the only one to face her directly.

Perhaps that was why she had gotten so angry? It was a new and nerve-wracking experience. No one had really approached her that way about a loss before.

It made Allura feel as though Keith truly believed that he knew how she felt. But he didn’t understand. None of them could understand.

All of them had that same look in their eyes.

_ Even Keith. Keith looked at me with those piteous eyes! With those very same-! With the same…. _

Allura knitted her brow in contemplation.

Her thoughts had been wandering at their own volition, well beyond the princess’s control. But now that she had stopped and reflected on all that she remembered, she realized that Keith’s eyes’ did not match those from her memories.

The eyes from her childhood had been sympathetic. They had looked on her as a child to feel sorry for. As someone who had experienced a great deal of pain that the onlooker could not fully comprehend.

But Keith’s eyes had been different.

They’d been… sadder. Much more pained.

She HAD seen those eyes before certainly but…

They had not been from strangers.

Her father had had that look in his eyes. Once the kingdom's affairs had been put in order, Alfor had taken the first opportunity available to him to come to Allura’s side. It was the first time in weeks that Allura’s life seemed brighter again. Because her father knew how she felt. He had lost a wife in the same way she had lost her mother.

And then, upon their awakening, Coran had looked at her with those eyes. They were the eyes of a person who was all too aware of their situation and of the pain and loneliness they both now faced.

But for life of her, Allura could not name the expression.

It wasn’t a warm expression. It didn’t make her happy or relaxed. Nor did it bring about any kind of pain. 

Every time she had seen the expression in the past it had brought about a feeling that she had been unable to describe. It wasn’t even so much a feeling as much as a state of mind.

The name for the feeling was lost, just as the name for the expression was.

And it was driving Allura insane.

In part, because she was struggling to understand her own feelings, but largely because she feared she may have completely misread the red paladin's intentions.

The princess tossed and turned in anxious contemplation.

Even if she was simply over thinking things, and Keith really had just been pitying her, she had still overreacted. Somehow, the boy’s small gesture had released the floodgate of emotion that Allura had been trying to keep inside. Sending everything pouring out in an uncontrolled torrent.

She was going to have to apologize. No matter what her emotional state, Allura didn’t want to jeopardize her relationship with any of the space explorers. Not only because it would make defeating Zarkon that much more difficult but also because they were all quite literally trapped together.

The castleship was large but it was still a cramped artificial living environment meant for long expeditions. Not indefinite living. Allura was surprised that it had taken this long for someone to finally snap. Albeit she wasn't expecting it to be herself.

Mustering her strength, the princess pushed herself upright and to her feet. She still felt dead tired and foggy headed but the sooner she dealt with Keith the better.

_ It hadn’t been anything personal. Unbecoming, inappropriate, and embarrassing, yes. But Not personal. _

With that in mind, Allura hoped that Keith wouldn’t make a big fuss out of the whole affair. She’d come to learn that humans could be awfully stubborn when they wanted to be.

Making her way to the door, Allura deactivated the lock and allowed the door to slide open. But as she headed out, the princess collided with someone standing just outside the opening. 

The sudden stop nearly sent her toppling backward onto the floor. But a firm set of hands grabbed her by the shoulders and steadied her balance.

The change in her equilibrium had scrambled Allura’s already dizzy mind and made everything unfocused. As she regained her senses, however, she became fully aware of the person currently holding her upright.

“Shiro?”


	6. Part 3: Something Repaired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura realizes her great mistake and attempts to repair the damage that has been done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay this chapter is like super late.
> 
> I kept getting stuck on writing it, and switching over to other projects.
> 
> But now FINALLY it's done. And it's the longest chapter of this fic to date at over 6,000 words!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

“Princess, are you alright?” Shiro looked at Allura with that look of concern that had come to irritate her so much over the past few days.

This time, though, the princess was determined to present herself as a proper Altean princess should.

“Y-yes. You just surprised me, that’s all.”

“Sorry.” Once certain that she wouldn’t fall over Shiro released his firm grip on her shoulders. “I thought you were still resting.”

“I just got up.” She pulled the pink robe tighter around herself. “Was there something you needed?”

Shiro opened his mouth to begin, seemed to think better of it and close it again with a sense of uncertainty.

It was a strange sight to see. The black paladin was usually much more certain of himself. Especially in front of others.

Finally seeming to come to a decision on how to start, Shiro spoke.

“We need to talk.”

Reading the look of alarm on the princess’s face he immediately added. “Not about anything pertaining to our mission! Nothing’s gone wrong, I assure you.”

Allura sighed in relief. That was one thing at least.

“It’s just…” His voice once more drew the princess’s attention. “About Keith.”

Her face heated in embarrassment. It really HAD spread throughout the ship.

Allura’s mind instantly shifted gears. Her priorities changed and refocused.

She could find Keith later. Right now she had to focus on damage control.

The princess attempted to stand as tall as she could given that her inner sense of balance was currently in disarray. And put on an innocent face.

“Ah, yes?” she tried to give him a neutral smile.

Shiro’s looked confused and even a little bit worried.

“Well… I mean, what he said to you…?” The black paladin seemed to be struggling between making a statement and asking a question.

Wishing she had had more time to think of an explanation that didn’t involve her going off on one of her paladins like a fire-cracker, Allura simply nodded.

“Y-Yes? What about it?”

Shiro, in turn, glanced to the side as though waiting for an explanation that would never come.

“I mean, he did upset you… didn’t he?”

Allura took in a breath. “N-not upset… He didn’t upset me…” She was struggling and she knew it.

Crossing his arms, Shiro gave her a serious look. “Yes, he did. You were crying.”

The princess got stuck on that one.

“Look,” Shiro sighed, “you wouldn’t be the first. Keith’s… never been the most tactful person around.”

She pressed her lips together and held her head high in an attempt to stifle any kind of emotion.

“But he never does it on purpose. He’s just not used to people. So if he offended you in some way-”

“He didn’t offend me.” Allura cut him off. She wasn’t sure if she could handle much more. Keith had been too forward, yes, but he hadn’t actually done any harm. “We don’t… we don’t have to talk about it. It’s just something that happened, and it’s over now and we can move on.”

“I’m sorry princess,” Shiro squared her shoulders and gave her a serious look. “But that’s not going to happen.”

She was growing irritated. “Look, I can take care of my own affairs alright?! I don’t need you all hovering over me!”

He looked taken aback.

 _Oh no_ , Allura’s thoughts caught up to her emotions. _I’ve done it again._

“I-I didn’t… didn’t mean that.”

“It’s okay,” Shiro put up his hands in a show of goodwill. “You… wanna be left alone. I get it.”

“No no, that’s not it.” Allura sighed. “There’s just… a lot that needs my attention at the moment. Where is everyone?”

The black paladin opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it again. The uncertainty was back.

“What’s the matter?”

“Uhm,” Shiro seemed stuck. “Well, you see… after you uh… _retired_ for the night… Coran sort of-”

“Oh quiznak, what did he do?”

Shiro shifted his weight awkwardly in the hallway.

Sighing in surrender, the princess beckoned for the paladin to enter. “Come in and have a seat. I can see that this conversation is going to happen no matter what I do.”

The sight of Shiro sitting awkwardly in the large bedroom, doing his best not to let his eye wander over the many private aspects of Allura’s inner sanctum, would have sent the princess suppressing a laugh on a good day. Unfortunately, the current situation rather dampened her ability to find amusement in the situation.

“So,” Allura began as she took the seat opposite of him. “What did Coran do?”

“He… found Keith and pressed him on what happened. But he did it all wrong.”

“There’s a _right_ way to pressure Keith?”

“Well, no. The right way to pressure Keith is to not pressure him at all. You just kind of have to sit there and make him uncomfortable with your presence and eventually he’ll tell you what’s wrong. But Coran basically put him under the equivalent of a police interrogation so of course, he ended up clamming up.”

_Coran, you and I are going to have a long discussion after this._

“Did you try to talk to him?” she asked.

The only person Keith seemed remotely interested in listening to was Shiro. He’d listen to Allura to an extent, but only if Shiro showed a willingness to go along with it. They were all like that to an extent, but the red paladin even more so.

“I did. Unfortunately, I didn’t get much. All he would tell me was that it didn’t matter.”

Allura assumed she should have felt relieved. After all, Keith hadn’t gone off and told everyone about her outburst. But hearing what the poor boy had gone through afterward just made her feel worse.

“After that Keith sort of just locked himself in the training deck and won’t come out. I thought I’d just leave him be at first, but he’s been in there for hours and won’t respond when I tell him to come out.”

“He won’t… listen to _you_?”

The shock in her voice was clearly apparent as Shiro just gave her a bemused smile.

“Yes, it does happen from time to time princess. Anyway, that’s why I came here.”

“I don’t see what you expect me to do about it. Keith doesn’t respect me the way he respects you.”

“It’s not that he doesn’t respect you. He just doesn’t know how to talk to you. He doesn’t know how to talk to most people.”

Shiro leaned back as his eyes suddenly had a far off look.

“Back at the garrison, I can’t tell you how hard it was to get him to hang out with other people. It’s not that he’s unwilling, but he finds socializing awkward. He tends to stick to serious topics when talking to most people, so they start to think he’s not really interested in getting along. As a result, Keith always ended up just hanging out with people he already got along with. Which usually meant me before… Kerberos.”

The black paladins gaze clouded over with dark memories.

Allura swiftly changed the subject.

“But he gets along just fine with the rest of you!” she pointed out.

Shiro blinked and refocused his attention to the here and now.

“W-well yes, but that’s mostly just because we’re all stuck in space together. The others have had a bit of a better chance to get to know him than most people. They can’t just give up on him and walk away, like some other people.” He chuckled. “Really you know, forming Voltron’s been a great help to him. It’s forced him to interact with other people on a level he’s never had to before. He spent most of his life alone, so I don’t suppose he ever learned how to socialize without some kind of excuse.”

Allura knitted her brow.

“My point is,” Shiro carried on, “He’s not used to dealing with… situations… like the one you’re in now. He doesn’t know how to handle things delicately. So if he said anything that seemed mean spirited to you I just wanted you to know that he didn’t mean it.”

And then he added, “Also I’d appreciate it if you told me just what you did talk about. It might help me get him out of the training deck you see.”

But Allura’s mind had already wandered somewhere else.

It had just been a passing comment, but for some reason, it had stood out to her.

“Shiro?”

“Yes, princess?” The black paladin sat up straight in attention.

“What did you mean when you said he spent most of his life alone?”

The comment went home.

Shiro suddenly seemed to pale and shrink under the princess’s gaze. He tried to mutter something about there being some kind of mistake, but Allura swiftly silenced him.

“Why would he be alone? Were his parents consistently busy with their duties or something?”

In the pit of her stomach, Allura already knew the answer. But she continued to press Shiro for answers. Hoping, praying, that she was wrong.

Because if she was right…

Then she had made an awful mistake.

“L-Look, I have the utmost respect for you, princess. But I can’t talk about that with you.” He averted his gaze from hers, as though her piercing cotton candy blue eyes were like two daggers aimed at his heart. “Not without Keith’s consent. I’ve told you a little too much already.”

Allura stood up.

“Princess?”

She wanted to be wrong.

She had to be wrong.

Otherwise…

Allura hurried from the room, ignoring Shiro’s cries for her to wait.

If she was right. If she wasn’t wrong. Then Princess Allura of Altea had likely made one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

And she feared she’d be unable to repair the damage.

* * *

 

Getting into the locked training deck had been child’s play.

Allura had been taught how to override the doors long ago in the case of emergencies. Pidge had likely already figured out how to do the same. The only reason she hadn’t opened the doors to the princess’s bedroom or the training deck likely had to do with Shiro wanting to respect her and Keith’s personal space.

As the door slid open, Allura slipped in as quietly as possible.

And there was Keith.

He parried an attack from the training bot, sliding back a step before striking at an opening.The swing made contact. The bot twitched at the point of contact and disappeared up into the ceiling.

There wasn’t much of a hurrah, however as the red paladin swayed slightly. His knees nearly gave way, but Keith managed to use his bayard as a makeshift cane and steady himself. Using the sword as a support, he stood in place and breathed erratically as sweat dripped from the tips of his bangs onto the floor.

The princess looked on in abject horror.

How long had Keith been training?! Had he even been pacing himself?! When was the last time he’d had some water?! What level was he trying to train at in this condition?!

Even Allura’s inner drill sergeant was enraged at this reckless behavior. She’d always been happy with Keith’s willingness to improve, yes, but not to the point where his health was clearly at risk!

Going at it like this, his muscles would surely cramp and deteriorate. Dehydration was a very real possibility. Not to mention the inevitable burnout.

Keith finally managed to regain enough breath to stand up and say, “Start… training level… five.”

The princess watched with a growing sense of dread as another droid dropped down on the platform and charged. She was trapped between the urge to charge in and intervene, and the knowledge that letting Keith fail the sequence would make it far easier to drag him away from the training deck and getting proper rest.

The sound of battle filled her ears.

Keith successfully parried the blade. With a swish of his blade, the red paladin ducked under a swipe and went for a strike.

The bots blade came round with astounding speed and the two weapons clanged as they crossed.

Sparks flew as the droid pushed the now kneeling Keith back, successfully deflecting his blade.

With a rush of wind the trainer's sword went in for a stab, and only just missed by the tip of the blade. Nicking Keith’s ear in the process.

Rolling to the side, the boy managed to just barely struggle to his feet.

The robot attacked once more.

Keith’s arms moved for a parry, but his limbs were heavy and sluggish. The swords contacted with enough force to knock the paladin off balance, sending him toppling backward.

The bots sword came down in a finishing move and-

“END TRAINING SEQUENCE NOW!”

The voice was loud and commanding.

Keith fell backward into a pair of open arms and a body that caved below his weight.

The robot's weapon stopped centimeters from the boy's nose before evaporating into energy.

Dots danced in Keith’s vision as he slumped back against the form whose arms currently engulfed him. He could feel whoever it was shifting out from underneath until he was practically laying in their lap. As he tried to focus his vision, he caught sight of a pair of cotton candy eyes before his strength failed him and his eyes slid shut.

When the boy went limp in her arms, Allura very nearly panicked. But as her hands flew swiftly to check his vitals she relaxed as it quickly became apparent that he had only fainted.

Then she felt something sticky and wet soaking into her nightgown. Glaring down at the boy, the princess almost made an offhand remark about him drooling on her only to stop.

There was a large red stain on her gown. And it was growing from the side of Keith’s head.

“Oh no,” Allura whispered as she tilted the paladins head to find that the left side of the boy's head was now smeared in a red liquid. “Keith? Keith wake up!!”

She gently shook the boy, but still he didn’t stir. Only for more red liquid to seep into her dress.

By the gods, he was leaking fluids!

“Keith, stay with me!” Gently Allura brushed the hair out of Keith’s face to get a good look at his complexion. It was… normal? At least he didn’t look visibly different but it was difficult to tell.

His breathing seemed... even? His pupils weren’t dilated. That was good, right? And his pulse was… average?

It slowly began to dawn on the princess that she should have pressed the paladins for details on their biological structures. Without a healing pod to scan their bodily functions, Allura had no idea what the signs of a healthy human looked like.

Lifting her hand, she took a good long look at the red liquid that was now smeared on her fingers. Gulping, the princess focused her attention back on Keith.

Hooking her arms under his shoulders, she attempted to lift the red paladin up off the floor. She wasn’t sure she’d make it to the infirmary on her own, but at least she could manage to move the young man off of the cold floor and somewhere safe.

Keith groaned, and his eyes fluttered open. “Ugh, what happened?”

“Oh thank the gods of Altea you’re conscious!” Allura sighed. “Now just try and stay awake while I get you to the infirmary!”

“Infirmary- I don’t need to go to the infirmary!”

Keith immediately regretted his statement as the princess’s eyes hardened into a serious glare.

“Yes, you do! You’re injured!”

Biting his lip, he growled. “No, I’m not! I just… I just fell over!”

“You passed out!”

“I was resting my eyes!”

“YOU’RE LEAKING!”

“I AM NOT LEAK- wait a second what do you mean by _leaking_?”

“You’re head! It’s-It’s leaking some kind of red… liquid…”

Keith’s hand flew to his head and flinched as he tentatively touched the tip of his ear.

“Ah, dammit.” he hissed.

“Is it… Is it bad..?” Allura asked, her voice dripping concern. “It’s not brain matter is it?”

“It’s just blood princess.”

“Blood?” Crouching down next to her paladin, Allura cupped his face in her hands and squinted. “Are… are you sure? It isn’t… I mean it doesn’t LOOK like blood…”

“Of course it’s blood!” Keith growled as he twisted his head out of her hands. “What else does blood look like?!”

“Well clearly a blue-silver.” Allura muttered as she once more cupped his face and attempted to find the source of the “blood”. Wiping away the red liquid she managed to locate a tear in one of his rounded ears.

She blinked.

The skin around the earlobe had been torn and inside was more red “blood”.

“Well MY blood is red.” he sighed. Finally giving in and letting Allura look to her heart's desire.

“But i-it… it bled so much!”

“Earlobes tend to do that.”

“Not MY earlobes.”

“Well these aren’t YOUR earlobes are they?”

Allura glowered at him and had to resist to urge to grind her teeth.

The boy was being unreasonably stubborn.

“Well regardless, you still need to be looked at!”

“I’ll be fine.” Keith began getting to his feet. “I just need to wash off the blood and bandage the cut. I don’t need your help-”

Allura caught him before he could land on his face.

“You were saying?”

The red paladin just grumbled and asked, “Where’s the nearest first aid kit?”

“In the training decks control room.” She answered. “And before you even suggest it; no. I will not be leaving you to tend your wound on your own.”

A groan of annoyance sounded next to Princess’s ear as she slung Keith’s arm over her shoulder, but there was no sound of protest as she led him up to the observation deck and sat him down against the wall.

Kneeling down under one of the control panels, Allura began to rummage through a number of cases before finally finding the one she was searching for.

“Ah, here we are.” Clicking the box open a crack she smiled. “Good, it seems Coran filled it with fresh supplies recently.”

Keith didn’t reply, instead preferring to focus his gaze out of the glass window.

Sighing, the princess scooted across the floor and set the first aid kit down at her side.

As she took a damp cloth and began washing the odd alien blood from Keith’s face, she remembered the original reason she’d come here. Unfortunately, the red paladin did not appear to at all be in the mood for apologies. Giving or receiving.

Besides, how exactly could she breach the subject? It wasn’t as though Shiro had given her any definite information. All she had at the moment was a suspicion.

And it wasn’t like she could just immediately say, _Hey, sorry about before. But it only just_ **_now_ ** _occurred to me that someone very important to you might be long dead._

As she wiped away the last bit of blood and reach for the ointment she finally decided to say something, anything, that might breach the silence.

“How long have you been training today?”

She was met with silence.

“You’re sweating a lot is all. So it must have been a while.”

Still silence.

Allura was beginning to grow irritated.

_You’d think he could at least grunt, or hum, or something._

The only response she had managed to get since she had begun dressing his cut had been a slight wince when her finger brushed his earlobe. But nothing more.

Sighing, she continued. “You should be more careful to pace yourself. The training programs are designed to not inflict permanent damage, but still, you could’ve been seriously hurt and-”

“What does it matter to you?”

A response. Of a kind.

“Why wouldn’t it matter to me?”

She was answered with an annoyed tsk.

Allura’s patience was wearing thin.

“Look if this is about what happened earlier-”

“It’s not.”

“It clearly is!”

Keith glared at her.

“Give me the bandage, I’ll put it on myself.”

“Not until we’ve had this discussion!”

“What discussion?!”

“About what happened earlier!”

“What’s there to discuss! You made how you feel very obvious!”

Allura flinched at that.

“Look, I am sorry alright? I wish I could take it back but-”

“Just. Shut. Up.”

That pushed Allura over the edge.

Grabbing the red paladin’s chin with a surprising firmness that caused the boy to suddenly go rigid, she placed the bandage over his earlobe. Before letting go, causing Keith to retreat from her and rub his chin in a mix of shock and offense.

“What the hell was that for?!”

Allura gave him a long serious stare but said nothing.

Keith narrowed his eyes at her before using the wall for support to get to his feet. “Whatever, I’m going back to training.”

He crossed the room, doing his absolute best not sway as he walked until he reached the door.

It didn’t open.

Frowning Keith touched the door before glancing to his left and seeing a familiar red light on the sensor.

Turning to Allura, he asked, “Why is the door locked?”

“Because I locked it.”

Keith sneered at her. “You can’t lock me in here with you just because I won’t talk to you!”

“Actually, I locked the door to keep you from fighting on the training deck while you’re clearly exhausted. But it will work for this too.”

The red paladin kicked the door experimentally. It didn’t budge.

He tried to pry his fingers into the crack of the door frame but found it an impossible task.

“You’ll have to talk to me eventually.”

Keith ignored her and began scanning his eyes around the room, looking for any possible exits.

As he did so Allura felt compelled to comment.

“Stop eyeing the ventilation shaft. It narrows considerably after a small distance. You’d only get stuck.”

Keith’s eyes drifted to the big window that overlooked the training deck.

“And no, you can’t break the observation decks window to get out. It’s stronger than you think. Not to mention there’s no way you’d get out of the fall unhurt. You’d at least be nursing a sprained ankle.”

Keith huffed as he turned to her, narrowing his eyes in irritation and anger.

“If you don’t open that door and let me out I’ll-”

The princess cut him off.

“Threatening me won’t work either. We both know you’d never actually hurt me.”

Keith’s brow twitched as she called his bluff.

Growling, he whispered. “You’re. Insufferable.”

Allura did her best not to look hurt.

“Sticks and stones.”

Making herself comfortable, Allura watched as Keith took out his frustrations on the wall. First by punching it, then by kicking it. When that proved to be a pointless endeavor he then proceeded to do everything the princess had said NOT to do.

 _Typical_ . She thought. _In one hideous ear and out the other._

The princess watched Keith’s futile efforts to escape the observatory.

First, he stuck his head into the ventilation duct. Only to find it was so small he couldn’t get farther in than his shoulders.

Then he tried to break through the window. It remained firm. Though he struck it with so much force that she worried the red paladin would hurt himself if he continued trying.

Finally, he turned and stared at Allura.

She stared back at him.

They both stared at one another, unblinking, for some time before Keith gave a resigned sigh and crumpled down onto the floor next to Allura.

“Are you done?” She attempted a tone somewhere between stern and gentle. But it wound up sounding patronizing, even to her.

“What did you want to talk about?”

Allura didn’t answer.

She’d managed to get this far, certainly. Unfortunately, it didn’t make breaching the subject any easier.

Perhaps she could ease into it?

“I-I’m sorry… About before. I wasn’t acting like myself.”

Keith snorted.

Allura pretended not to notice.

“My point is I… I was upset. And I took it out on you. And that was… unfair of me.”

She risked a glance at the paladin’s face. The expression there was unreadable.

Swallowing, the princess’s gaze went to her slippers.

Why was this so difficult? Why was the simple act of saying, ‘I’m sorry I was wrong, please forgive me!’ giving her so much difficulty?

It was true that she had never had to apologize for most things in her life. She had always had a great deal of confidence in what she did and said. If she overstepped her boundaries her father would always admonish her, and ensure that she knew exactly where she had gone wrong.

He had grown to admonish her less and less as she grew up.

Allura had thought that meant she was maturing. But perhaps it simply meant he expected her to be able to recognize when she had overstepped her own boundaries and make amends?

It was impossible to tell.

She had always been able to figure herself out when he’d been around. In fact, Allura was sure that if her father’s AI had not been destroyed she’d be with him right now. Asking him what she could do to make things up with Keith.

And just talking to him would give her the answer. Because when she talked about her worries to her father, the answers would oftentimes come on their own.

But her father wasn’t here anymore. She could no longer rely on him to make sure she made the right choices. And if her current situation was any evidence, it was very clear she wasn’t making the right choices.

“What… what I mean to say is… I-I shouldn’t assume things… About you and the others. I haven’t known you long and… And I can’t exactly go assuming that we have nothing in common. Because we might.”

Receiving no reply from the boy at her side only sent Allura rambling on.

“I’ve never felt so alone before now. Whenever I felt lost or didn’t know what to do, my father had always been there to comfort and guide me. I always relied on him. And even when he couldn’t be with me I had never been by myself. Not truly. Even if the people in the castle didn’t understand me the same way my father did, they were **there**.” She pulled her knees to her chin and stared off into space. “The castle was never as quiet as it is now. Even at night. There was always some life to it. And now… Now that's almost completely gone.”

She took a deep breath in an attempt to fight down the urge to cry.

“I-I… I still don’t know… how to process that. Everything happened so fast. Or at least it did for me. And I know I’m being rather… That I AM acting rather self-centered about it. I mean Altea was hardly the only world Zarkon’s destroyed, and I know for a fact that it wasn’t even the first. B-But I can’t… I-I can’t help myself.”

Keith opened his mouth to say something but the princess cut him off.

“A-and I’m sorry for complaining! I know you all probably expect a lot more from me than that!”

“It’s not complai-” Keith once more attempted to speak but stopped as Allura began rambling again.

“Your home is in danger. I know that. And I know that protecting it and the universe and not getting wrapped up in my own issues is a noble endeavor. I know that my father would have wanted me to carry on as a guide for you paladins. If he were here now he’d probably have you all much better prepared than I could ever manage. But I’m… I’m… I’m NOT my father!”

The princess deflated.

There it was. She’d said it aloud. In front of Keith even.

“I’ll _never_ be my father.”

Then, despite her best efforts, Allura cried.

The tears came steadily streaming down her face. She tried to wipe the accursed things away but more immediately took their place.

“I-I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m s-so sorry.”

The red paladin sat in shock as he watched the noble altean princess devolve into quiet sobs.

He reached out, hesitating before placing an awkward hand on her shoulder in an attempt at comfort.

“Uh… Look I never knew your dad… I mean I never knew my _own_ dad. But I don’t think he’d be ashamed of you or anything. Maybe.” Keith floundered. “I can only guess that this whole situation must be kinda unusual for you. Well, I mean, of _course_ , it isn’t. If stuff like this was normal we’d have this whole defender of the universe thing down pat. Which we don’t. But it’s not all your fault. Maybe _part_ of it is, but not ALL of it.”

Keith drummed his fingers on his knees nervously as he continued, obviously having no idea what he was supposed to say.

“I mean Hunk’s on the ropes half the time, Pidge gets a kick outta seeing people get their asses handed to them, and Lance, well he’s _Lance_. Even Shiro has his moments. Not that I’m saying I’ve got it all together myself. I’m just saying we aren’t exactly the prime picks from the barrel. So when we suck you shouldn’t take it as your fault. Or at least not all of it. Maybe a seventh of it. If we count Coran.”

Allura listened as the boy swung between awkwardly comforting and accidentally insulting her.

He seemed to be more than a little aware of just how badly he was doing. Every time he finished a sentence he seemed to try to fix it with next, only to dig himself into an even deeper hole.

Shiro hadn’t been exaggerating. Keith was BAD at this.

He didn’t sugarcoat or try to give light comfort. He just bumbled on. Clearly trying to sound supportive but his words failed him miserably.

It was weirdly kind of refreshing.

Everyone else did everything they could to avoid touching the sore subject at hand. But Keith was a hands-on kind of guy. He was trying to handle the situation directly but clearly had no idea how to handle the subject matter.

And so the princess laughed.

Keith jumped at the sudden sound of her laughter and gave her a look.

“God,” she sighed wiping the tears in her eyes with the sleeve of her gown. “You really aren’t very good at this.”

The red paladin's face fell.

“W-well it’s true.” he attempted to argue. “About yer dad being proud of you and it not being your fault. And stuff.”

“Yes.” Allura smiled at him. “I know.”

Keith quickly looked away at the sight of her gentle happy face.

“You don’t have to worry about that stuff. None of us think you’re doing a bad job. So… So you can be sad… if you want.”

The princess nodded.

“I’m sorry. I came here to apologize to you. And you ended up having to comfort me.”

The red paladin’s eyes softened a bit “You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t! Look… I-I upset you okay. I should’ve known to leave you alone. So there’s no point in apologizing to me.”

“But I want to.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Allura said meaningfully. “You know how I feel.”

Keith didn’t reply.

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I-I thought… I mean I assumed that you… That you were just trying to make me feel better. Out of some sense of sympathy. It wasn’t until afterward that I realized it wasn’t sympathy. But empathy.” The princess tried to speak as gently as possible. “I think you know how I feel very well Keith. Much more than the others, I mean.”

More silence followed.

“Please talk to me. It’d,” she hesitating. “It’d be nice. To have someone to talk to about it.”

The red paladin leaned against the cool wall and closed his eyes.

“It sucks huh?” he asked. “The way… Th-the way people look at you. After it happens.”

“Yes,” Allura whispered.

“It’s really kinda funny.” He had a bemused smile. “They play around the subject and go out of their way to be nice to you. But after awhile they just sorta move on. Even if _you_ haven’t.”

“Did you?”

Keith shrugged. “Eventually. Though it was less moving on, and more having other shit to deal with.”

Allura resisted the urge to reprimand his language.

“At the time I kind of assumed no one really cared. Especially after I was sent to the orphanage. It was a little hard to believe that any of the people around me really cared when they shipped me off somewhere out of their way. Then you see all the other kids just like you and find out that all the adults said all the same things to them that they did to you. Like they’re rehearsed lines.”

He glanced at Allura.

“Going off topic, but how did you find out? I mean I’m not hiding it or anything, I just never talk about it. So how could you have known?”

“Shiro came to talk to me.” Realizing that she may be casting the black paladin in a rather inaccurate light, the princess added. “He didn’t actually tell me anything but he did let slip that you were alone a lot growing up. So that combined with what you had been saying before…”

“Made you conclude that I was an orphan?” Keith sounded skeptical.

“Well, it was more of an educated guess than a conclusion.” Allura leaned in closer. “Shiro really didn’t tell me anything. Honest.”

“I believe you.” Keith sighed. “But he did go to you to find out about me right?”

“In a way.”

“Heh, knew it. He’s always been like that.”

“How long have you two known one another?” The princess asked.

“Few years I guess. Since I joined the garrison at least.” He chuckled at the memories. “He somehow made it his personal mission to keep me out of trouble. Funny thing is, it worked.”

“That's rather sweet of him.”

“Shiro’s a supportive guy. Looking at how he acts with the others I guess that it just kinda comes naturally to him.”

The two fell into a newfound silence.

But it was less of an awkward silence, and more of the kind of quietness that envelopes a peaceful lapse in conversation.

Knowing that Keith forgave her lifted a great weight from Allura’s shoulders. Still, there was something that needed to be done.

Scooting over closer to the red paladin, the princess wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

Keith instantly stiffened.

“What are you doing?”

“We’re having a moment. I’m hugging you.”

“O-oh.”

“Why? Do you not like it?”

“N-no, it’s just I don’t usually hug-” He stopped before switching gears. “I mean I’m not used to getting hugs is all.”

“So?” Allura asked her arms still around Keith.

“So? So what?”

“Aren’t you going to hug back?”

Blinking, he awkwardly put his arms around Allura but didn’t both to squeeze and instead lightly patted her back.

The princess sighed but nonetheless gave the boy a tight squeeze.

“Goodness, you are bad at this.”

“Yeah, okay, I get it. I’m bad at this kinda stuff. Can we stop harping on that and finally get outta-”

The door swung open.

Hunk’s voice called out, “Oh hey I finally found Kei-” he stopped mid-sentence and stared at the two. “What are you guys doing?”

The two instantly broke off the hug.

“Nothing!”

* * *

 

Allura slunk into her bed and curled up underneath the blanket.

The mice scurried from their place on her bedside table and came to lay down on the pillow next to her.

She smiled at them. Grateful to have a bit of company, even in moments like this.

“Sorry for being so mopey lately.” she quietly apologized as she petted the smallest of the mice on the head. “But I feel a lot better now.”

It had been refreshing. Allowing herself to cry. To say how she really felt.

Keith wasn’t at all good at consoling people. He stumbled with the words and frequently said the wrong thing.

And yet he somehow managed to make up for it by being rather sincere. It was an oddly endearing trait.

Closing her eyes, she thought about what he’d said about her father being proud of her. It had been in between casual insults, yeah, but the words still rang true. Keith hadn’t exactly been wrong about himself and the others either.

None of them really understood what it meant to be a paladin yet. Or at least they had yet to truly immerse themselves into their respective roles. Their fears and insecurities were still holding them back.

But they made up for it by being brave, resourceful, and kind.

The current paladins were still learning. They had the potential.

They were just a little rough around the edges.

Of course, then again…

So was she.

With that final thought, the princess allowed herself to drift into sleep.

And this time, she looked forward to the dreams.


End file.
